Between making lunches, getting breakfast ready in the morning, and making sure your kids have clean clothes and look somewhat “assembled” in the morning, who has time to think about being an advocate? Mornings are crazy, but so are afternoons. By the time the kids get home, unpack their gear, eat whatever is left in their lunches (which is usually half of it), check for homework, and have a few minutes of chill time, it’s almost dinner. Then comes the “witching hour,” that time between 4:00 and 7:00 PM when the kids are busy doing things such as watching TV, annoying each other, and eating dinner, then bothering each other even more before bedtime. They’re tired, so they don’t have patience for their little sibling to ask them to play or “join” them when they watch TV. It’s just that crazy few hours before the bedtime routine starts.

Now, I’m probably speaking your language. You can totally relate to all of this. But how would this look different if you have a kid with complex needs? Well, we have three kids with complex needs, and all the same stuff happens except we are beside them every step of the way, helping them. If that sounds exhausting . . . it is. So, where does the time go and how do we find the time to practice being better advocates? As parents, we always want the best for our kids, and although we want them to succeed on their own, we want to make sure we help push the barriers out of the way so they have a chance. This is where being an advocate is helpful.

But wait, that’s just at home. What about at school? What is an IEP? Or an IPRC? (Read about them here on my blog.) How do I know what these things are and who’s responsible for making sure they happen?

Don’t worry. You don’t need to be an expert in any field to learn about it. That’s the fun about learning. You also don’t need to be an expert advocate in order to start being the best advocate for your child. Although these three steps are tuned more towards kids with complex needs, they will help any parent who is seeking support for their child in the school system.

1. Remember that You Know Your Kids Best

You know what they like, what they don’t like, who they like, and who they don’t like. You know what triggers them or sets them off, but you also know what calms them down and what environment will help them thrive. Be confident in the fact that you know your kid best. If it helps, write down some things that work at home to calm them down that might also work at school. Write down some things that you’ve changed in your environment at home that might apply to school.

2. Research What Rights You Have as a Parent

This one is tricky because each school district has different rules and regulations, but there are usually two common things. In Ontario, Canada, where my kids go to school, we have something called an IEP (Individual Education Plan). This is a document that is created by the school based on a need your kid might have. Usually, in order to support the IEP, you have to have a formal diagnosis (like Autism, or ADHD or Mild Intellectual Disability, etc.) and you have to formally meet with the school team to discuss it. That process, in Ontario, is called IPRC. There are lots of rules around it, but the main one is that parents get to make the request and drive that process. This is your time to shine as a parent. Since you know your kid best (refer to Step 1), you can see that something might not be right in the classroom, and this is where you can step in and ask for these formal meetings to get the ball rolling. Let me be clear; your school board is not against you, but they are extremely busy, and they may miss some of the small signs your kid is giving off that indicate they need extra help. Again, this is your time to shine. Find out what your school board’s policy and procedures are and start this process.

3. Be Persistent and Polite

No one likes a bull in a China shop. We’ve all heard that phrase and instantly know a person who acts like this when under pressure. Trying to navigate a complicated school system for a kid with complex needs and trying to advocate for them can create a lot of pressure and stress. I would encourage you, as much as humanly possible, be as polite as you can be, but don’t lose your persistence. Being a good advocate will seem like endless work (and it is at times), and it will feel like you are alone, but you are not. There are people in your community who can help. We here at Every Kid ROX want to help as much as possible. We believe that knowledge is power.

4. It’s time to apply what you’ve learned.

Remember Step 1: You Know Your Kid Best, Step 2: Research What Rights You Have as a Parent in Your Particular School Board, and Step 3: Be Persistent and Polite. Between all the assistance and love you give your kids with complex needs, it seems like there is no time for advocacy. So, I hope these three quick steps will help on your journey.

Every Kid ROX is here to help you navigate the road ahead.

Visit EveryKidROX.com and check out the Support Roadmap section for information about different diagnoses and where to go for help.

If you get lost or just don’t have the energy, don’t worry.. We get it! Just email us at hello@everykidrox.com and we can help. You can do it! We believe in you!

Now get back to being awesome. I’m sure you are right in the middle of the “witching hour.” But you’ve got this!